Are you really helping?

You might think you're helping, but are you really?

Not so long ago I found myself with an inconspicuous front row seat watching the children of close friends get a soccer ball stuck in a tree. Sipping a cup of coffee, I watched through a sliding glass door as they…

... Climbed into the tree to try and shake the ball out (fail)

... Shake the branch again (fail)

... Shake the branch harder (fail)

... Use a pole to try and dislodge the ball (fail)

... Shake the branch again (fail)

... Throw another ball at the stuck ball to try and knock it free (fail + get a second ball stuck in the tree) 

... Use a longer pole to try and dislodge the ball (fail)

At this point I decided they needed assistance, so I put down my coffee and got up to help. One of my friends (a parent of one of the children), recognizing my intent, quietly said to me:

“Let them figure it out.”

I paused, sat back down, picked up my coffee, and continued to watch the situation play out.

After a few more attempts, the children eventually solved the problem: they used two poles taped together to dislodge the ball (success).

The desire to help can be powerful. It usually stems from good intentions, to help solve the problem at hand.

And

It can also blind you from what is lost when you take away someone’s opportunity to learn and discover for themselves.

When your team is confronted with a new situation or problem, the most important trade-off decision to consider is this:

Are the deadlines more important than the

Benefits of learning & development?

Choose wisely.